This is the true story, as written in the diary of a 15 year old girl, struggling with drug addiction.
In this book, the girl is called Alice. She has a nice boyfriend, Robert. She buys a diary in which she describes her happy feelings. Her happy life changes when Robert breaks with her. Her whole world collapses. But when her father gets a new job and the family moves to another town, she seems to recover from her grief. She writes in her diary that ‘even school is exciting again’. She becomes very close friends with Beth.
Then after going alone to a party of an old classmate her life changes forever. She is given drugs without knowing it. This is the beginning of her drug addiction. It seems to her that she now belongs to a group of friends. This is a misunderstanding. These so-called friends reject her when she decides to stop using drugs after her grandfather passes away. She loses all her friends and is alone again. She is obsessed by the idea that her dear grandfather is eaten by worms. When she is babysitting at the neighbours, she gets into real trouble. Alice eats a whole bowl of peanuts. In the book, it is suggested that somebody has contaminated the peanuts on purpose with LSD. She gets completely confused, beats her head against the wall, pulls out her hair and thinks that the she is also eaten by worms. She ends up in a mental hospital. In the mental hospital they don’t believe her, they are convinced that she drugged herself with LDS. Only her parents believe her. After a while she is released from the mental hospital. It seems that she is cured. She fills her diary with happy stories. When she comes at the end of the diary, she does not buy a new one. But then when turning the page, the epilogue is shocking. Alice dies three weeks after she stops writing her diary. Nobody will ever know if it was an accidental overdose or a suicide.
I was most impressed by the story. Alice wrote her diary with so many details that I almost could feel how difficult it was for her to live. Struggling with her identity, her self-esteem, her relation with boys, her weight and her drugs. I doubt if she was always honest with herself and her diary. I think that finally her drug addiction killed her.
A film was made, based on the book. I think that the book gives a better rendition of her life. The thoughts of Alice are much better elaborated in the book than in the movie.Although the book is very impressive and sad, I would recommend this book to every one.